Weight For It

One of the things I’ve shied away from, both in real time and on my blog, is my weight. Although I’ve had body-image issues since high school, it became more of a problem during my mid/late 20s. In fact, it’s been a struggle for the past 3 years or so. At 24, I was 5’6 in and a solid 145 lbs and I thought I could lose 5 lbs (ha!). Fast-forward December 2017, at age 27, I finally hit 171 lbs. I never felt as insecure with my body and appearance in my whole life. During this time, I was going through a few life changes that intensified my stress levels and weight gain. So my ex and I made a weight goal pack – for him, gain 15 lbs and for me, lose 15 lbs. By January 2018, I was miraculously 167 lbs. I remember not being able to look in the mirror but stepping on the scale several times a day hoping I lost half a pound. It became a weird mind game because other aspects of my live were on the cusp of improvement, except this weight!

Fast forward to April 24, 2018, I hit 155.2 lbs and finally reached my goal! How did I do it? No crash diet this time or exercising (surprisingly). I started drinking more water, cut out most juices/sodas, consumed smaller proportions, and ate out much less. I realized how much of a sin gluttony is. I was overeating my stress away and anxious all the time. So I started eating until I felt satisfied NOT full. The ‘itis’ became less of an occurrence (I used to feel tired immediately after a meal). I incorporated fruits and greens to replace fast food and dining out. Once I got rid of distractions, the pounds sort of melted off. However, even though I was more active, I didn’t exercise much and continued to drink the same amount of alcohol (most times without chasers to cut back on the sugar – the irony lol).

I gave away a lot of clothes that were too small but refused to buy larger clothes to accommodate my weight gain. I comfortably fit maybe ¼ of my clothes. In a way, this was negative reinforcement but it did make me uncomfortable enough to make lifestyle changes (and it was a very cold winter so I didn’t out much anyways lol). Now, I can finally fit most of the clothes again! Go me! There were a few pieces I kept as my weight loss goal clothes - 2 pants and two small dresses. I can fit the pants and almost fit the dresses comfrtably! I When I look in the mirror now, I can see how my body has changed and I love it! I look better, but more importantly, I feel better both internally and externally. And now that I’ve reached my weight goal, I want to lose more – 5 to 8 lbs. I made a lifestyle change that I want to continue. I want to incorporate exercising/toning and drinking less alcohol into my routine. I feel like 155 lbs is now my regular weight and 148/150 lbs would be my toned/lean weight. So the weight loss journey continues!

In all, just know this is a snippet into my truth. I’m not saying that you don’t need to exercise or drink less to lose weight. You should in order to live a healthier life, period. What I am saying is that I stopped overeating  (eating 2 eggs instead of 3, eating half of a sandwich instead of the full sandwich, etc.) and eating unhealthy food (choosing grapes instead of take-out as a snack, actually COOKING, etc.) as a result of what I was going through and bad/lazy habits. Sometimes it’s the environment and headspace that you’re in  (I’ll speak more on this in a later post) that can exacerbate certain aspects of your life – mine manifested in my weight and perspective. During my journey of being a healthier me, I had to make and am still making changes! My physical growth is catching up to my mental growth. Watch out now! :)