It's funny how life tends to put us in situations where we have to learn lessons. If we don't learn the first time, second time, or tenth time... we are given 'opportunities' to learn it. Much FUN. After all, doing the same things expecting different results is complete madness. For me, one of my lessons in life has been to speak up for myself. Although this lesson has morphed itself in different forms, the underlying theme has always been, "Sash, stick up for yourself." What can I say? We all have our little quirks and qualms lol.
Just know that in growth, we are tested just like in school. We are given multiple chances to pass and master out tests, depending how you look at it of course. As such, know your worth. Stick true to yourself, your goals, and standards. Always choose yourself and what's in your best interests. And most importantly, don't take ANY shit (lol). And by shit, I mean mediocrity, others expectations of you, insincerity, unclarity, etc. Don't accept any of it. It might seem hard to take that leap for yourself in the moment, but you will appreciate it in the end, regardless of the consequences. Don't force yourself into a particular box that you don't fit, if you even fit into a box. Sometimes I pass my test, sometimes I don't. I've had to accept that that's life. Believe me, your test will come around again, bigger and more dramatic than ever. The lessons that you struggle with the most are the ones you will be repeatedly tested on until you pass and it's grounded into your foundation, becoming second-hand nature.
I'm still mastering my own test and one day soon, I won't second guess myself when and how to speak up for myself. But I can say, the feeling of passing your test is incredible! The sureness of self is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself. Master and appreciate your tests in the bigger picture and don't let doubt, insecurity, or the situation get the best of you. Be great!